The Pyeongchang Olympic Games kicked off Friday night in South Korea. You know, the Korea that doesn’t require a Trypophobia trigger warning for its 230-person-deep cheerleading squad. Sadly, this year’s competition is missing two monster ticket sellers:
- The triumphant return of Tonya Harding.
- NHL players for the puck portion.
Great job, NHL. Games that barely matter in the dead of winter somehow smite honor, glory and gold? The men’s ice hockey tournament runs from for ten days starting February 15th, yet there’s no Crosby, McDavid, Ovie or Doughty. This is the tournament of no-names. Yet there’s something intriguing about the fact that without superstars and bigger ice, it’s still hockey.
It’s still just solid pucks, checks, and wristers from the blue line. Depending on how your team fares in the group stage and into the KO rounds, that could mean a maximum of seven games played during the Olympic span. That’s a lot of hockey.
In honor of this, we curated the best attire for whatever rink, living room or bar you may be viewing the Tournament Of The Anonymous.
Let the games begin.
ISSE SOUTH KOREA : Bare Bomber Blue
ISSE is an amazing futura-street line from Seoul, this bomber jacket, reminiscent of an abstract hockey jersey and the color of a freshly Zamboni-ed rink had to make the team.
IILTHY : Flag Red Hockey Jersey
Illthy is actually making me think Cali knows something about hockey. Apologies to Jon Quick and Ryan Doughty and the rest of the Kings. Actually, the Sharks ain’t shabby either. Let it go, I’m just a bitter Ranger fan.
TOMMY HILFIGER : Oversize Corporate Beanie
American as hot f-word, bro.
RCNSTRCT Studios : Vintage American Windbreaker
This is the exact jacket the SEALS wore when they got Bin Ladin’s filthy little ass. #NoMapleLeafHere #BuildThatWall #DontQualifyForWorldCup #Hotdogs #ApplePie #RexQuanDo #AMERICA
CARHARRT WIP : Navy x Fur Anchorage Parka
Now you can look like a rich ass dad, and feel like Goldberg from The Mighty Ducks with all that warm padding, pal. Double Header, W.